June 19, 2012

4 Years Ago Today...

I had just finished having a lovely discussion with my charming ob/gyn. Something along the lines of "I'm telling you I might explode if you don't get this ginormous kid out of me!"...He then proceeded to tell me I was OCD for being able to provide him with an exact date of conception, but since I could-he would move up the date a few days in order to safely avoid the c-section he was sure I would have. And that conversation, wasn't even the beginning of my difficulties.

You see, in August 2007 we lost our precious second baby at only 16 weeks gestation. We were told by our doctor that due to the healing needed, I should provide my body with a minimum of a 3 month break.

But God had other plans...
The very next month, I was pregnant again-and so scared. We had several "possibilities" of what may have happened to cause the loss of the previous pregnancy, but none confirmed. Knowing that, and knowing that my body was not given ample time to recover, I was worried sick. (Not to mention terrible "morning" sickness!) We had several ups and downs during the pregnancy, complete with tests revealing that our child would have intellectual disabilities, discovering the cause of the previous loss and our inability to prevent it from happening again, loss of control-knowing that either decision we made could be a 50/50 chance of being the wrong choice...the list goes on.

Fast forward to June 2008. We made it through the pregnancy-with stretch marks in places I didn't know they could exist- and were anxious to meet our second baby girl. With my first pregnancy we induced because my doctor felt that with my frame I would have difficulty delivering a baby over 8 lbs. (She was 7lb13oz) So in June, at 37 weeks I was sent to the hospital for an induction of a LARGE baby. She fought us through the induction, with multiple decelerations, and was finally born. The cord was wrapped around her neck 2 times, with a complete knot, cutting off the blood supply. She was gray from head to toe.. The room was hushed. I worried about permanent damage, gripping my husband's hand. My mother and my best friend Erin were there too, and Mom thought she was dead. That scary minute seemed to last for way too long. And as quickly as the room hushed, it filled with joy. She was fine. (And no-there's no intellectual disabilities or any other ones either like we were told.) She quickly gained her color. The doctor's first words? "Holy cow! Throw that baby up on that scale! I'll be she weighs 10 lbs!!!" (Spoken like a true fisherman. Our doc LOVES deep sea fishing.) He wasn't too terribly far off. This momma that "shouldn't deliver over an 8 lb baby" just delivered a 9lb 1oz beautiful baby girl.
This was taken the September after she was born. Allison (left) was almost 3-notice how big Ansley is!

Marker. Oh...this child.
The excitement, drama, heartache, fear, joy...complete roller coaster didn't stop there. My sweet Ansley is 4 years old today. She was in my arms when I discovered a devastating addiction affecting a special loved one. She was on my lap the morning I got a phone call that my dad was being taken by ambulance to the ER. She was in my arms standing in that same ER as they told me my Daddy didn't make it. This sweet baby has been through some storms with me, and her sisters and Daddy too, of course. And along with those storms, she's been there during our biggest, loudest, most joyous moments too. She was in my arms when I shared that knowing glance with her Daddy, that we were about to add even more fun to our family with her baby sister-born only 13 months after her. She has walked in and out of more than 75 (that's SEVENTY-FIVE) houses in search for a home where we'd start our new journey 300 miles from the only home we'd ever known.
Allison and Ansley located the instant pudding in the pantry and helped themselves while I took a shower. Nice, huh?

She's the little girl who can get me to tears the fastest. She also knows how to push every one of my buttons. Ansley is loving, nurturing, tender, and considerate. She's fiery, loud, quirky, and "out there". My little Mommy. My right hand girl in the kitchen. A great baker. A thoughtful friend. She's my prayer warrior. She loves Jesus. She loves her family. She's simply beautiful. And today, I celebrate her. I love you sweet girl! Here's to sharing the ride on this coaster for many years!

I'll leave you with this:
My girls and I all have "our song". Each one is different. Mine and Ansley's song is by Gungor and its called "Beautiful Things". Knowing her story, I'm sure you'll see how appropriate. I never imagined God could take the ruins and devastation of my life and turn it into this. :)

Gungor-Beautiful Things